


The lie detector

by ML Mead (moonlightmead)



Category: The Professionals
Genre: Dialogue-Only, M/M, PWP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-10 22:41:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2043027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlightmead/pseuds/ML%20Mead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"Doyle, do you honestly know what you're doing?"</i>
  <br/>
  <i>"Of course I do. I am going to ask you questions, and you are going to prove to me that you really can fake a lie detector test."</i>
</p><p>The lads play with a lie detector - but Doyle may prove to be a better lie detector than the machine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The lie detector

"Can't."

"Can so."

"You can't!"

"Alright then, if you say so."

"You can't!"

"Whatever makes you happy."

"Look, Bodie, just because it's possible to beat a lie detector, doesn't mean everyone can do it."

"Fine, you win. Now shut up and keep an eye out for action over the road."

* * *

"What's the point of being on the A squad if we draw the obbos?"

"Because, Doyle, being on the A-squad means we know what Geller's gang look like."

"Huh. Should have shot the bastards when we had them in our sights. Wouldn't be waiting for them now, would we?"

"Shot on sight? No trial? This job is getting to you."

"Huh. When did I approve your application again?"

"What application?"

"To be my conscience. I don't remember appointing anyone to be my conscience for me."

"What is up with you today, Ray? Have you missed another date or something?"

"Haven't had a date for a week. Tina cancelled, and then told Marie not to bother, apparently. Said I might act more interested in Marie than in Tina, but I was more interested in keeping her dangling than actually going anywhere with her."

"What, Marie told you that?"

"Nah. Tina. Just making sure to ruin my day."

"You do know how to pick 'em, that's for sure."

"Yeah. Any sign of Geller yet?"

"No."

* * *

"Why do the Yanks use them, then?"

"What?"

"Lie detectors. If you can fool them, why do the Yanks bother with them?"

"How should I know, Ray?"

"And you still think you can beat them?"

"What's all this about?"

"I'm just asking."

"Look, they work on measuring stress. So all you have to do is to keep cool when you lie and tense when you tell the truth. And it'll even out."

"Ah, I get it. This is your 40 beats a minute, 'I'm so cool the sea freezes' image, isn't it?"

_Silence._

"Don't smirk at me. That's what it's about. You just reckon you're too cool to be caught out."

"You just keep your eye on that house."

 

* * *

 

"So, how long before Tina forgives you?"

"Forgives me? Jesus, Bodie, she's spoiled my pitch with half the women I know. She's practically sticking posters in the the laundrette with my name on them. 'Beware this man'. She's determined to make sure I suffer."

"She's frustrated, poor girl, that's all."

"Yeah, right, poor her. Frustrated? I'm frustrated. She called it off. What's she got to be frustrated about?"

"Well, all that posing, and no delivering. She's feeling cheated."

"All that what? Cheated? All that... Bodie, are you feeling okay?"

"Ah, give over, Ray, you know what I'm talking about."

"Not a clue."

"The posing, you lying sod."

"Posing? You saying you watch me?"

"Don't watch. Just can't avoid seeing you, you get in my bloody way every half hour."

"You watch me."

"I don't. You get in my way. I just said that."

* * *

"There's one in the old interrogation room."

"One what?"

"A lie detector."

"A lie detector?"

"Yeah."

"Why? Why have we got a lie detector?"

"When the Yanks came over to collect that Romanian courier. They had an entire box of tricks with them. Left that one behind, didn't they?"

"Left it behind? Yeah, right. Fell off the back of a CIA lorry, more like. You little tea-leaf."

"Wasn't me. Anson swiped it. They never even noticed, and even if-- Oh. Hang on. Is that Rogers coming out of the side alley?"

"It is, yeah. Get on the R/T and tell Mike to start moving in. Looks like we're on."

* * *

"But, sir--"

"Do you think you're the only one who can interrogate in this organisation, Bodie? I want something that'll stand up in court. I've heard your idea of sensitive questioning before."

"I'm just saying, sir.."

"I know very well what you're saying. The answer is no, Bodie, no! You've done your bit for the day. Yes, Jackson, what is it?"

"A message from the Minister's office, sir."

"Well?"

"The Minister's getting panicky. Seems very worried about the names we sent him. Wants to know if anyone connected to the union election is liable to show up in the fall-out."

"I might have known. Tell Betty I'll need a call to the minister's office at twenty-five past six tonight, then."

"Twenty-five past six, sir?"

"As he's about to leave for the Embassy reception, Bodie. Let's see if we can wake him up to what's going on here."

"Permission to call you--"

" _No_ , Bodie, permission denied. Go and collect your partner and get out of here. I don't want either of you anywhere near the interrogations tonight. You're far too keyed up. Right, Jackson, finish here and I'll see you in an hour."

* * *

"Hey, Ben."

"Bodie."

"What did the old man mean, 'keyed up'?"

"What?"

"'Keyed up'? What did he mean?"

"How should I know? I'm just the messenger boy in this place. Go here. Tell Cowley that. Come back. Tell Betty this. Which reminds me. The prince with a thousand curls thinks I have nothing better to do than to carry your love notes."

"What?"

"Doyle. Said to tell you he was in the old interrogation room. You know it, it got closed last year. Said he had something for you. Sounds interesting. You reckon it's a ring? Or maybe a paternity order?"

"God knows. Thanks, Ben. I'll go and fetch him out."

 

* * *

 

"Doyle?"

"Bodie. About time. Come here. Look, I found it."

"What?"

"Anson's lie detector."

"Oh, for Christ's sake, Ray, are you still on about that? And stand up straight, can't you? There's no secretaries walking past the door hoping for a glimpse of you like that."

"See. Told you."

"What?"

"You watch me."

"I do not."

"No?"

"I said. If you will stand in front of me like that, can't avoid you."

"Come here. You're going to live up to your promises for once."

"Doyle, it's six in the evening. We were called in off stand-by yesterday evening. It's time to get out of here."

"Hardly. I'm just waking up. Come here."

"Fine. If it makes you happy."

"Right, sit there. Let me attach this."

"What?"

"The sodding lie detector, that's what. What did you think?"

"Christ. You got any idea of what you're doing? Got a licence for this?"

"Yeah, Raymond Doyle, licensed detector of bullshit, that's me. Just sit still there. I need this to go here -- will you unclench your hand for just a minute? Right. All set."

"Doyle, do you honestly know what you're doing?"

"Course I do. I am going to ask you questions, and you are going to prove to me that you really can fake a lie detector test."

"And then can we go home to bed? I'm knackered."

"Yeah. Then we can go home to bed."

"Right then. Get on with it. Before Cowley arrests half of Kensington and decides that he needs this room back."

 

* * *

 

"Is your name William Andrew Philip Bodie?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Are we sitting in CI5's interrogation room?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Convincing so far. Is today your birthday?"

"Yes."

"Liar. Hang on. Let me look at the needle."

"It'd be easier if you sat down properly, not swinging off the bloody chair, you know. Bad enough in the Capri. If I push that foot off the table, you'll be on your arse."

"Thanks for that, sunshine. Sorry. Am I putting you off?"

"Get on with it."

"No sense of refinement, you. Okay, next. Did you know that it was Gerry who put the sour milk in my coffee?"

"No."

"Liar."

"Not!"

"Look, Bodie, definite flicker on the needle there!"

"Normal variation, Ray. I didn't know. Really. I nearly drank it myself."

"You were damn well waiting for me to drink that. You're not convincing me here, sunshine."

"Look, you're the one who had the bright idea about playing with the lie detector. I didn't know that Gerry had put anything anywhere, and I didn't know there was sour milk in the fridge."

"You're a bloody shit operative then. There's always sour milk in the fridge. Anyway, my coffee. We'll do that one again while I'm watching it. Did you know the milk in my coffee was sour?"

"No."

"Hmm. Okay. I'll give you that. For now."

"I'm so grateful."

"You know, you're gonna have to lie on a few soon. If you want to prove you can fake a lie detector test, you have to tell a few convincing lies."

"I don't need to prove it. This is your game. But if I do..."

"If you do...?"

"If I lie, you'll never know the difference, my son."

"Won't I? Hmm."

"Where are you going?"

"Think better on my feet, don't I? Not going anywhere, really, just need to stretch a bit."

"Not the bits you're stretching."

"What?"

"I'm tired, Doyle. Tired and frustrated. Let's get this done."

"Frustrated. Hmm. Okay. Let's get on with it then. Let's have some lies. Do you fancy... Betty?"

"Yeah, alright. Yes."

"No surprises there. Do you fancy... Sonia?"

"She's... alright..."

"Ah ah ah. Yes or no, Bodie, that's all that counts. Do you fancy Sonia?"

"I dunno, Ray, I barely know her!"

"Ah, get into the spirit of this, will you? Okay. Not Sonia, then. Do you fancy... Cowley?"

"Yes."

"Heh. You liar. Needle practically jumped off the table. You're not doing too well here."

"This is your game, Ray. It's not up to me to make your point for you."

"Thought you were going to prove you could lie and fake the test, not just that you could lie. We can all bloody lie, it's in the job description."

"If you'd stop sauntering in circles, perhaps we'd get somewhere!"

"I'm just walking!"

"You're posing! Come off it, Ray, you must know what you're doing!"

"Not doing anything out of the ordinary. Unlike you."

"What?"

"Needle's still bouncing around like ferrets in a sack. Thought you were Mr Cool."

"Dammit, Doyle, what's your fucking point? And for Christ's sake, stop pacing!"

"Better?"

"Leaning against the wall like rough trade in Soho is not what I had in mind, no."

"Bodie. And you know for sure?"

"What?"

"I'm ex-Met. I'm supposed to know what rough trade in Soho looks like. What's your excuse?"

"Oh, here we go again. Mr Seen It All. Feeling insecure, so bring out the rough tough drugs squad. You don't need to compensate, you know."

"For what? Your claims of chaos and mayhem in Africa?"

"No chaos. No mayhem. No claims about it, if it comes to that. Was doing a job, that's all. I'm just saying, there's nothing to live up to. Jesus, will you stop that?"

"What?"

"That.. that.. whatever you're doing."

"Just stretching. Rearranging a bit. Fine. I'll move."

"Right."

"You know, that needle's going to break off in a minute."

"Christ, Ray, you don't give up, do you?"

"Never. No."

"Look, Ray, I'm tired, I'm hungry, I want to sleep. Get on with it, whatever your point is, and we can all just go home."

"Both."

"What?"

"Both."

"Yeah. Heard that. What?"

"'It;'s 'both' when it's two people. 'all' when it's more. There's only two of us here, Bodie. I'm the only one who'll know."

"Get out of my face, Ray. You don't need to sit that close, you could just talk at a normal level instead."

"Watching the needle, aren't I? Okay. Fine. Question. Do you fancy the Queen?"

"No."

"Long may she feel the relief, bless her. Do you fancy--"

"There's a theme developing here, you know."

"Heard you lie about everything else, Bodie, want to hear you lie about this."

"Go on, then. If you can stand still for a minute."

"Oh, I'll be back to watch the needle. Do you fancy Tina?"

"Look, I didn't do anything to sabotage that one, you did that all on your own--"

"Not accusing you, just getting a baseline. Do you fancy Tina?"

"Yes."

"I wonder. How about Marie?"

"Yes."

"Now I know you're lying. What about me?"

 

* * *

 

"What?"

 

* * *

 

"Me."

 

* * *

 

"What are you talking about, Doyle?"

"Asking you a question, aren't I? Do you fancy me? You certainly watch me enough."

"You stick yourself in front of my bloody eyes all day, don't confuse that with..."

"...with?"

"What?"

"Don't confuse that with what? C'mon, Bodie, I can see the pulse in your throat! I know exactly where to look. That 90-beats a minute heart rate tells me you're a liar. What did you claim, 40?"

"Look, these bloody things don't work, we established that in the car!"

"We did?"

"Yeah, that's why you can fake them out!"

"Oh, right. Go on, then. Fake it out. You said it's all to do with tensing up and relaxing. Yeah. Faking the tense when you're telling the truth. And faking the cool when you're lying. You're the expert. Go on then."

"Doyle?"

"Lie to me. Do you fancy me?"

"You're a fucking tease, you are, and you're lucky I don't say yes."

"Depends on the needle."

"What? And stop it."

"What?"

"Playing at Patricia the Stripper. Do yourself up, for god's sake."

"Hot in here. Never can feel comfortable with all the buttons done."

"As you have proved every time we get in the car."

"Stop changing the subject. Do you fancy me?"

"That's enough, Doyle, I'm going ho-- Fucking hell!"

"Watch it!"

"Touch me like that again, and you'll regret it."

"Just brushed against you, what are you on about? But I think you owe Anson a new lie detector."

"What?"

"Well, it didn't arrive in that many bits, and it definitely didn't arrive on the floor. Never seen anyone jump like that in my life. Never mind trained agents with a 40-beat-a-minut--"

"Will you shut the fuck up!"

 

"Who's that in there?"

"Shit! Bloody Collins! Enough's enough, Doyle, now is not the time for this."

"No? Let me know when it would be the right time. Stop panicking, Bodie, I'll get rid of him."

"Hope so, I owe him twenty quid. Get on with it."

"Oi, Collins, s'me! Doyle! Hang on, the door's stuck. There we are. What's up?"

"Doyle. Ideal. I'm looking for Bodie. You're bound to know where he is. Where is he? He owes me fifty quid."

"Fifty? Yeah?"

"Yeah. Any idea where he is?"

"Oh yeah, I know alright. Don't think it's a good idea to bother him at the moment, though. Bit ratty. I think I can tell you where he'll be tomorrow, if you want?"

"Don't like the sound of that. Thanks anyway, but no. See you later."

"Yeah, okay. Tara."

 

"Happy now?"

"Lying bastard, it was twenty, never fifty."

"Well, if you will play games of chance for money..."

"He's probably trying to count Murph--"

"Bodie, stop changing the subject."

"What?"

"Stop it."

"What are you doing now? Where you going?"

"The light switch, you moron. There. Off. No-one's going to see the light from the corridor now. And you can't complain that I'm in front of you now. I'm not in front of you, Bodie. Do you know where I am?"

"Doyle?"

"I'm giving you a chance to lie, Bodie. I'm behind you. Only I bet you've turned round by now, Bodie, haven't you?"

"Doyle?"

"You know where I am. You don't even need my voice. You home in on me... And I... home in... on..."

"Shit!"

"It's alright, it's just me. And you were facing me. Knew you'd have turned. Even in the dark, you know where I am. God, your neck is tense."

"Doyle, what..."

"Hush. Just for a moment, Bodie. Hush. I can feel the hair on your neck standing up."

"Doyle..."

"You're not saying 'no' yet, Bodie."

"Doyle, no..."

"And you're a shit liar, we've established that. You can lie for Queen and country easily enough, but you can't lie to me."

"Doyle, you don't know what you're playing with here."

"I think I do. Hm. It's not just on your neck, is it, that prickle? Why d'you wear such tight collars, hmm? How far down does that shiver go?"

"Doyle, stop arsing about."

"Arsing about? Haven't started yet, mate. And you're big enough and ugly enough to put a stop to it any time you please. I'm not seeing it, though. Or feeling it."

_Silence._

"Cat got your tongue? See, I don't need that toy of Anson's, Bodie. I don't need a needle to know what you're thinking. I can feel what you really think when I run my hands down your arms like this. Yes. And then back up. No. You're not moving. The hair's standing up. And your body is humming with tension."

"Ray. You... don't know."

"Don't know what? Here, step back. Relax. I'm here. I've got your back. In every way, this time. What don't I know? You think I don't know what's in your file?"

"Wh--?"

"Ah, that's got you worried. Shh, relax. Gently, now. Back. Back into me. I've got you. I'm not going anywhere. I'm against the wall. Even if you fainted into me -- and you're not going to do that, are you? -- I'd still have you here."

"Ray. Keep doing that and.."

"And...? Gonna surprise me, are you? Where's the surprise gonna come from? Only one thing you can do that would honestly surprise me, you must know that. And you know what it is."

"I'm serious, you're playing with fire here."

"Told you. Saw your file. You know, when your hair's short like this, it feels like feathers when I run my fingers through it. Mmm. Lean back. You're not that much heavier than me. Let me reach round."

"Are you seriously...?"

"Undressing you? No, mate, not really. Exploring a bit? Yeah, could say that. Seducing you? I damn well hope so, or we're going to look very silly in the morning."

"We? This is your bloody game, not mine, and--"

"Oh, for God's sake, Bodie, if anyone heard the tape of this conversation, tell me you could listen and then claim you weren't here. "

"Tape? You fucking lunatic, get off me right now! Get... off!"

"Ah!"

"Doyle? Doyle! Fuck! Chrissakes, Doyle, are you--?"

"Jesus, Bodie. I don't mind a bit of enthusiasm, but if you're gonna slam me against the wall like that, you could at least hold me upright instead of letting me drop. This floor's cold."

"Oh, for-- Stop pissing about, Doyle. The tape!"

"Bodie. Bodie! No tape."

"What?"

"No tape. That was an example, you fool. _If_... So... Are you going to leave me here, or get me up?"

"You're a lunatic, you are. You know that?"

"Not as mad as all that. Give me a hand. No, properly. Lift me Bodie, Christ. Against the wall. That's better. Oops. Put your arm around... oh God, yes. About time. Where's your mouth?"

 

* * *

 

"You're still a prick-tease."

"Not."

"Are."

"Teasing's when you offer and don't make good. I offered. You're just not giving me the chance to make good on it."

"I'm giving you the chance to stop."

"Don't want to stop."

"You're behaving like a romantic film here. Kisses and seduction. That's not what I do. Not what I'm interested in. You said you'd seen my file."

"Yes, Bodie, for Christ's sake. Yes, I've seen it. _Yes_ , I know why you might have thought it was a good idea to apply to transfer before you got into worse trouble. Yes, I know which club you were in when it got raided. Yes, I know what goes on there, for fuck's sake. Will you get it through your thick skull. Yes. Yes. _Yes_."

"You bastard."

"That's more like it. More what I expected. Ah. A bit of gentleness, if you don't mind."

"Make up your mind. You said you know what I like."

"Oh yes. Still doesn't mean I want lumps in my head."

"You planned this."

"No, I always get into arguments about lie detectors with strange men on observations. Always go to the bother of--"

"Think you'd better stop before you go any further."

"Way too late for that. Mmm. Something down... here... told me you were interested long before your mouth did. God, let me feel it. Let my hands go, at least, you don't need to let the rest of me go. Jesus. Where's the top of the zip? Ahhh. And your belt... let's have that come off, Bodie, breathe in just a second. That's right, got it. Can you feel your belt sliding all the way around you? Mmm. All the way round and out?"

"Give that to me. Just get on with it, Doyle."

"Know where we're going now, do we? Thought we might."

"Know where you're going, you bloody prick-tease."

"Not having that from you, Bodie. You can call me any name that's true, but that one isn't. Come on, you're crushing me here, if all I can move is my arms, let me at least move those. Ahh, yes. I can feel you now. God, you're like a furnace. All the way up and down you. Shit, I wish I could see this, I'm working in the dark here. What colour are you, I wonder? Are you dark, just that much darker than the rest of you, matching your nipples? Red and hungry? Red and desperate? You feel pretty desperate to me, I have to say. Purplish, and it pulsing out from over the cover? I can't see. I just have to feel, just have to touch. Run my hands along and under to-- Jesus, and they say a man's balls are cooler than the rest of him. You're burning up. How long you going to hold out, then? You're going to have to let me move to do something. Can feel your hands on my hips, now. You expecting me to sink down, or to turn around? Make a few decisions here."

"Doyle..."

"Not helping me, Bodie. Not helping at all. You're the one in charge here. You're the one crushing me against the wall. You're the one who has hold of me. And your belt looped around your... Ah. That woke you up. Jesus, let a man breathe."

"Stop talking, Doyle, put your mouth to better use."

"Let me go a bit, then. Turn round. Yes, like that. Lean against the wall. Let me go down... Jesus, shouldn't have worn these jeans, can't squat down--"

"Get on with it, eh?"

"Patience, my son. Let me find you... Ah, there, there we are. And it feels like silk in my fingers, but... mmm... velvet in my mouth. Mmmmm. And the sm--"

"Shut up with the nonsense, Ray. You wanted to do this, so do it properly. Can't talk and do it at the same time. Ahh, yes. Gently for now. Gently. Oh, Jesus. Yes. We've got the rest of the night. Jesus, just hold the tip and breathe in. Use your tongue. Yes. Better. Just breathe in. All you can see and smell and feel is me. I'm all you smell, Doyle, all you taste. I'm all you know. Gently for now, then, yes, but not for long. Gently, and use your hands on what you can't reach. Hollow your mouth. Let me...further...in. Yes, Christ, in like that. Right in. Fuck, don't yank back like that. You wanted to do this. You'll do it properly. I've got you. Just move when my hands tell you to. Take it, damn you. Oh, Jesus. Jesus, you know what you're doing, don't you? That's right. Where's your other hand? You only need one on my cock. Put your other one to good use. You know where they are, ahh, good man. Ohhh, sweet Jesus. Think you'd better come back up, or this will all be over right now. Up. Come on, I've got your arms. Let me lift you."

"Mmmm. Still think I'm a tease, Bodie?"

"You're a tease, Doyle."

"I fucking well am not. I know what you want to do. You couldn't help taking over there. I'm still here. Going to take over again?"

"You have no idea what you're asking."

"Oh, I do. And I'm not asking. I'm offering. You gonna turn me down? After all we've said and done tonight? Don't think we can break off and salvage much tomorrow. We've gone this far, I know what you want. C'mon, Bodie."

"For Chrissake, Doyle, this is your last chance. I am barely holding on here, and you are a lunatic. We're in the fucking interrogation suite, with an investigation winding up, and nearly every room full. Could be another carful of plotters arriving any minute now. Cowley's prowling the halls making the minister panic, and you're offering me a fuck in the dark."

"Can put the light back on if you want."

"Doyle..."

"Relax, Bodie. The light's off. There's no microphones. No tape recorder. The room's officially out of use. And I locked the door when Collins went. Nicked the keys. Still saying no?"

"I..."

"I can hear your breathing. Just as well there's no mikes. You haven't calmed down since I put my mouth... argh, let go of my hand, let me put it there... on this..."

"Christ."

"C'mon, what do I have to do? Strip off? Hey, what happens if I keep my hand here, and just tighten a bit, eh?"

"Doyle!"

"Still waiting for suggestions here."

"You don't need suggestions, do you? You know what comes next."

"That a yes, then?"

"Damn you. Yes."

"Let me go a bit, then. Oh. If you're going to hold me like that, you're going to have to undo me, I can't move my arms."

"You're way out of chances, Doyle, no more chattering."

"Found a way to stop me, have you?"

"Stop talking. Turn round. There's a wall. Use it. Arms up."

"Finally, we're getting somewhere."

"You sarky little cunt. Get that t-shirt off. Right. Twist it up. As if you were making a rope of it. Right. You know what's coming next?"

"Uhh."

"I'm not trying to choke you. But if you're set on this, I'm not having you gouge great lumps in my arm while you try to keep quiet. I'm not having anyone come to investigate the noise. And in case you've forgotten, I've heard you mewling like a cat when you were two rooms away. As did half the unit. So last chance to back out. Any questions?"

"Only the obvious."

"It's a bit late to ask about limits, I'd say. You've already shown you've got no respect for mine."

"Bodie--"

"To save you the indignity of asking, I'm clean, and if you're not, you'd better tell me right now."

"No, nothing. But--"

"Doyle, this was a setup from the start. I'm not that thick. If you can plan this whole bloody thing ever since that conversation in the car, and wait until we're supposed to be off-duty and on the way home, you knew this was coming. Don't tell me you haven't got something in your pocket, cos if you haven't, you're just going to have to make do with spit."

"Jacket pocket. On the left. On the bloody floor now, of course"

"All I needed to know. How's that t-shirt? Wound it narrow? Good. Open. Wider. That's right. Bite down. Good. Keep your mouth shut down. Hmm. Better already, but how are we going to get at that stuff now, then? I know. Squat down with me, slowly. Mmm. S'your fault for wearing them, s'not hurting me to feel you wince. Right. Where's this jacket? Ah. Let's get into this pocket... Christ, wriggle against me like that again, and I'll be tanning your arse, not fucking it."

"Bo--"

"You're talking again, Doyle. Bite down! If you let that out of your mouth again, I'll keep it in with your belt. Let me do the feeling for a change. I've got it, now. Back up now. Slowly. Let me feel your legs pressed against mine. Ahh, Jesus, so I can get my hands into your front pockets from behind before those jeans come down. Mmm. Tight. Lovely. What's that, sunshine? Is that why you're pushing back like that? I'm not moving now, you might as well squirm against a rock. If you want to squirm, you go right ahead. Ohh, Jesus, yes. Right. Let's do something about letting the rest of you breathe. Where's the button on these things? Ah. Breathe in. Feel better? Feels good to me, what I can feel. Wonder how slow I can take that zip down. _No_. Keep your arms up on the wall. Rest your head on them then. God knows, you're going to need to. Let me get these jeans down. Christ, do you sit in the bath to shrink these on? Right. Better. Now, then...

"Doyle. Can you feel that? Your arse. Your hips. The hair around your cock. Christ, I wish we dared put that light back on. What do you reckon, Doyle, you mad enough to let me? Hey. Let that t-shirt drop, and I really will belt it into place. Christ, the hair on your back just stood on end, I can feel it on my nipples now, and I haven't moved an inch. Did you know you were doing that? Brushing my nipples with the hair on your back? What are yours like, I wonder? Let's find out. Mmm. These could be a bit harder, do I just need to pinch like this-- Christ, did you just nearly come? Wait for me, you sod.

"Okay, no more messing about. Get your leg out of those jeans. You can pull it over your trainer, or your trainer off, I don't care, but do something. Whoops, don't fall, I've got you. Ahhh. Better. Lean against that wall. Christ, man, are you slouching at me even now? Pull yourself forward so I've got room. Can you hear the lid coming off this tube? Mmm? There. Out it comes, and... onto... me. Mmm... long strokes along a long cock, can you feel it twitching, Doyle, twitching as I run this stuff up and down it? Here, against your arse? Can you feel that, Doyle? Can you imagine it in you? Won't have to imagine in a minute. Thought you were a prick-tease, but you're really ready for this, aren't you? I want to see all of this another time. Your arse, your hands holding it open, the shadows running up to your arse hole. Right where I am putting this stuff any minute now. Ready for this? Shit! Hush, for Chrissakes. Told you I knew you'd make too much noise. Were you expecting a finger? Nah, far too impatient for that, the nozzle on this tube's good enough to aim this stuff straight at you."

"You're shivering, Ray. I can feel it. Come on, not long now. Let's just smooth that around... hmm, you are ready, aren't you? Obviously not the only one with a past, am I? Okay, enough of that. Time to get on with it."

"Oh. Oh Jesus. Oh, that's good. In for an inch or two with no trouble. Fuck, yeah. Want me to stop? Think you can manage not to scream if I drop the tshirt? Here. You can answer me, damn you. Want me to stop?"

"Just do it, Bodie. Fucking hell, don't stop there."

"Sure? You asked, sunshine. All the way in. Now."

"Fuck."

"And now. And _now_."

"Fuck. _Fuck_."

 

* * *

 

"My God, Ray. Hold still a minute. Let me feel you. Feel this. Your back. Your arms. Your arse. Me plunged into it. I wish I could see this. I wish you could see this. Oh Jesus. What about you, Ray? What can you feel? Can you feel that? And that? And that? Want any help?"

"Christ, Bodie. _Bodie!_ Hold me. No, don't stop moving, you bastard! Keep on. Yes. Put your hand on my cock, do I have to do all the work there?

"Ray--"

"Ahh, yes, like that. Harder. Oh, Jesus, yes. Faster. Oh God, I'm..."

"Can guess what you're doing, Ray, can feel it all over me."

"Ah. God."

"Don't collapse on me. I'm behind you here."

"In more ways... than one.."

"Christ, you've always got to get the last word. I-- Fuck, do that again. Your hips."

"What, that?"

"Ah, yes, that. Jesus. Oh. Oh God, that's better. Jesus."

 

* * *

 

"Fuck, Bodie, that was... something else. But I have to sit down."

"Sit down?"

"Well... Lie down. Slump. Something. You might be right. Sitting down might be a bad idea."

"Take it you're walking back tonight, then."

"Oh fuck. We're still at work, aren't we?"

"Yes, Doyle, we are."

"Oh fuck."

"Yes, Doyle, we di--"

"Fuck off, Bodie. No, just realised... Nowhere to lie down but the rest room, and that doesn't sound too clever at the moment. Jesus, we stink."

"So much for your planning, Ray. Can't believe you didn't think of that. Thought of everything else. Lie detector. Lights. Key to the room. KY. KY, for Christ's sake. How long have you been walking around with that in your pocket?"

"Ah. Yes. Not that long, actually."

"No?"

"About seven hours."

"What?"

"When we stopped for lunch. Popped into the chemist while you went for the food."

"What possessed you to go shopping in the first place?"

"You."

"What? Me?"

"Yeah. All that banging on about posing. Finally. Took you long enough. Thought I'd better seize the moment."

"And the lie detector?"

"Ah."

"Ah, what?"

"Ah, well."

"You sod, are you going to tell me you faked that?"

"What'll you do if I did?"

"Kill you and give your body to Anson for burial."

"Anson?"

"Well, it's his detector. Or whatever the hell it is."

"Oh, it's the genuine article. Well. A bit battered now. Was the genuine article. You were right the first time, though. You can fake them. And you were doing pretty well. You had me worried, sunshine. You really did. Thought I'd completely misjudged you. Was glad you couldn't actually see the readings.

"You mean...?"

"Oh yes. You can fake the lie detector out. And you did."

"Told you."

"Just can't fake me out."

"We'll see about that. Next time, you take the test."

"Need another lie detector machine first."

"Oh yeah."

"Gonna clear it up?"

"Naah. We were never here in the first place. Time to move?"

"Yeah. Your place or mine?"

"Don't think it matters now."

"Don't think so, no. Let's go."

**Author's Note:**

> Was chatting to a friend and we realised we both had stuff we had not uploaded here. So this one is mine. The first one I ever shared. Three years ago today


End file.
